Last Monday I was scheduled to have a hysterectomy due to having some womanly issues that were affecting my everyday life. Considering my past complications with spinal surgeries, I really did not want to have another surgery, ever. Still I knew that I also could not, nor did I want to have my monthly, month round, sorry guys, I know some of you do not like hearing about this kind of stuff! lol So to make a long story short, I opted to have the surgery. The doctor told me that they would only be taking out my uterus, so my body would still be producing its own hormones, so that was really great to hear. He also told me that due to my previous c sections, he would just be going back through that same scar, so long as there were no complications which would otherwise force them to have to make a new incision right below my old scar. Now that did scar me, because after all theses spinal surgeries that I have had, I actually was begging to believe that “complications” was my middle name. Still the biggest challenge was yet to come, and that would be explaining to my babies 6 and 8 years old, and also my 17 year old that I would be admitted into the hospital. They do not like when I am away from them, well especially the babies. They tell me that their dad is strict on them, or in their words, “mean”and they want to be with me all the time. I explained to them, that normally after each c section I had, I came home early, even before the doctors thought i would be ready to leave, and after they cried and begged me to not leave them, I finally convinced them that this was something that could possibly help me with some of my tiredness, and grouchiness, so they somewhat agreed.
The day of surgery, I really do not remember too much because of all the pain and medication, apparently they did go through my same incision, but they had to make it larger for the uterus to come out. This time was far more painful from the other c sections, I thought, and I did not go home as quickly as I’d hoped for, and my kids were not very happy about that! Nonetheless, I still got to see them everyday, not for as long as we all wanted, because they had to get ready for school the next few days, and I needed my rest obviously, but I still was able to reassure them that “mommy’ would be home soon.
Those next few days were kind of depressing, I was up in the hospital, without my own kids, and of course they just had to put me on the floor where other women were delivering their own bundles of joy, and bringing new life into the world. All that I delivered on that day was a defective uterus! Not fair in my eyes! I had made the decision after my 6 year old was born, to have my tubal ligation, yet that really was not what I ultimately wanted, I just knew that I did not want to bring another child into the current relationship that I was and am still in. I knew it would not be a good thing to do, so even though I wanted another baby, I knew that if I did not have my tubes tied then he would have talked me into having another baby, and I felt this was the one way that I could prevent that from happening. So, even while I felt as though I gave birth to a defective uterus, instead of another baby as I wished for, I’ll take that, because my kids now make me feel like the best greatest mom in the world!